Awesome Jokes, Facebook Jokes, Troll Jokes

Facebook Jokes, Troll Jokes {new}

Diwali Facebook Status

Decent Facebook Status

Cute Facebook Status

Best Facebook Status

Angry Facebook Status

Troll Jokes Facebook Jokes

Emotional Quotes for Facebook

Jokes 2

Define A woman….
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Someone who can talk 4 hours while standing at the door .
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but she won’t sit …
Because shes getting late…:
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FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :

1.
Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.

2.
The road to success is always under construction ;-)

3.
In order to get a loan,
you first need to prove that you don’t need it :-P

4.
All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married :-P

5.
Once you have bought something,
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate :-D

Enjoy life ! :-)

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Girl: Which Laptop do u have..?

Boy : I have a HP G-62 with Intel core i3 processor 2.3 Ghz,
Windows 7, 64 bit..
2 Gb RAM & Intel 1 Gb graphics Card..

And Which laptop do u have..?

Girl: Pink colour ka.. :P

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At A ‘PAKISTAN’ Bus Stand,
An American DoctOr gOt Heart Attack after Reading a BoOk’s Name..!!

Guess The Name Of that BoOk..??
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“How tO Become A
DOCTOR in 30Days”.. Rs 150/-

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I just hate y0u!
Go away..
Why The Hell You Keep Coming Again And Again…
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Monday?!

Disturbed
Sunday.. =P =D

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My SCIENCE book says & i agree..
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“CELL” is the basic, fundamental unit of life.. :-D :-P

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When You Really
Want To Slap Someone,

Do It And
Say……
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Mosquito. :D:P

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Amazing truth : When your mom decides to be in your room while you are on the computer.. . You just switch to GOOGLE and stare at it..!! :P :D ;-)

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Dear lays manufacturer
U forgot to mention one more thing in the list of ur ingredients.

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Air 85% :D

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I am Looking for a Bank which can perform Two things for me.

Give me a Loan, & then Leave me aLone…!: :-) :-P

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My wallet is like an onion; whenever I open it.
It makes me cry

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Father: I have seen you love your mum more than me. Do you love me or your mum more?

Son: I love both of you equally much.

Father: What if I go America and your mum goes to Paris, where will you go?

Son: Paris of course, it is much beautiful there.

Father: Then what if I go Paris and your mum goes America, where will you go?

Son: America!

Father: So you’re bent on following your mum?

Son: No, it’s because I already went to Paris!

Nice Jokes

how to kill an Engineering student….

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Just pour water on his record book one day before submission!!

Mar Jayega!! ;)

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Zindgi ki keemat ka Andaza maut ke bad hi hota hai….
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For exampal…

zinda murga
Rs. 85/-

Aur

chicken tandoori
Rs. 230/- per plate….

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When a Guy does Something
Wrong…
Girl : You broke my Favorite
Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t
mean to..!!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !!

When a Girl does Something
Wrong…
Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t
mean to..!!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!!
Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !!

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One night a boy healped an unknow aunty to reach her home. aunty:-beta raat bahut ho gai hai yanhi so jao,bittu ke room me. boy:-nahi aunty may hall me so jaungi. 
next morning a beautiful girls come with a cup of coffe.
boy:-aap koun?
girl:-mai bittu aur aap?
boy:-mai gadha ullu ka pathha.GUD NA8

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How Come The Dove
Gets To Be The Peace
Symbol ?

How About Pillow ?

It Has More Feathers,
Than The Dove

And

It Doesn?t Have That
Dangerous Beak ? ;->

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Funny but true fact..
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Relationship between lovers in today’s age:-
you can touch each other..
but
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u cannot touch each other’s mobile..!

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Teacher: ?Johnny, Im Glad To See Your Writing Has Improved.?

Johnny: ?Thank You?

Teacher: ?Now, Finally,

I Can See How Bad Your Spellings Are!!!?

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Question by a student !!
If a single teacher can’t
teach us all the subjects,
Then…
How could you expect a single student
to learn all subjects ?

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Tech Joke-
All Samsung Officials Are Withdrawing Their Children From School,
As The First Thing
Children Are Being Taught Is ___
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?A for Apple? =P =D

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Facebook Jokes

When a Woman Loves!

When a woman loves you, you are a husband

When a few women love you, you are a man

When many women love you, you are a lover

When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol

When thousands of women love you, you are a leader

But,

When all the women in the world love you, you are not human… You are a diamond, gold, a rupee, a dollar, a euro, or a yen.. :P

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One Good Thing About
TWITTER
Is That It Keeps
All Annoying People Away From
FACEBOOK :P :D

Agree

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5 facts about You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You You

1) Ur so lazy u didn’t read all the You’s

2) U didn’t notice I put a Yoo

3) U r now looking to find out

4) U r laughing coz u realize there is no Yoo and u r tricked:D

5) U r going to send to others who r “like YOU”:p;)

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Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

Awesome Jokes

According to my parents,
Every problem has only
one solution,
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“Just throw away the damn phone” …
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People with “Hey there! I am using whatsapp ” status
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are actually Not using WhatsApp .

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Height of flirting of
ENGINEERS
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Teachr: Where is ur Asignmnt
book?
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Stdnt:Mam, I lost it While
fighting
wid
stdnts who said dat u r not d
most
beautiful
teachr in dis college. =P =D

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*Funny Quote*
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash. -

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Hardest thing ever?
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Controlling your laughter
at serious times :p :D

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The Guy Who Convinced
The First Blind Man ,
He Needed A Sunglasses
Must Have Been One Hell Of
A Salesman ?

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Who is a Boy.?
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He starts compromising at a very tender age.
He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister.
Later he sacrifices his love for just a smile on his parents face.
He sacrifices his full youth for his wife and children without any complain.
And finally his life ends up only by compromising for others happiness.
He is that creature of God who no one can compete. Respect every boy/man in your
life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for u.
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Forward kro larkon k liye pehli dafa kisi na kuch acha likha hai. :p :D
mere to ansu hi nhi ruk rahy;(

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Funny Facebook Status and jokes

A girl realizes the pain of Break-up only when
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She has to pay the Pizza bill herself..
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Saw an ad in the newspaper : Need Accountant, 15000Rs – 20000Rs.
So I called and told them the answer is -5000Rs…
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1999 Kids : I want my bed near Window
to see the moon&stars.
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2013 Kids : I want my bed near the
mobile charging slot..
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If you are asked to choose between Bill Gates’ money and World’s Peace, THEN

What will be the color of your Lamborghini?

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Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …

Help-desk : double click on “My Computer”.
Lady : I can’t see your computer..

Help-desk : No .. Click on “My Computer” on your computer.
Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !!

Help-desk : There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on your computer .. double click on it.
Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

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As years go,U may loose ur Hair, Teeth &
Eyesight.But not ur Talent, Brightness &
Intelligence.
Bcoz,U can never loose which U don’t have:-D:-P

Short But True !!!

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My phone just fell down on the floor !!

Is everyone ok in my contact list?

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Give me some sunshine..!!
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.Give me some rain..!!
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Give me another girlfrnd..!!
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I m single once again..!! :D :v :P

Sardarji jokes 2

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup..

Santa went to temple & saw people puting coin in box & praying
Santa: Wow! How amazing. People are talking to God through coin phone without receiver

Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
Banta-Recording this babys voice.
Santa-Why?
Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this..

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..
"My father grows beans," said one student.
"My father cooks beans," said another.
Then a Little Santa spoke up: "We are all human beans."